Everything is embarrassing

Yellow Day

When I was about 12 years old, I graduated from my quaint Primary school and started at a new high school. In England, they combine high school and middle school, so I was pretty young. It was a much larger school than I was used to and I had a pretty hard time with it. I couldn’t eat at school for the first few days, and I was constantly crying. I was able to make some friends here and there, but it took a while for anything to stick.

My favorite class was music. I had been playing the piano since I was 7 and have grown to find a lot of comfort in the piano. They would open up the piano room and I would be able to play whenever I was having a rough day.

Around the time when things started to get better, the school announced Yellow day! Eveeryone was encouraged not to wear their uniforms and dress in yellow. I, for one, was ecstatic, I hated my blazer and tie. I took it very seriously and got completely decked out. I was a pretty gangly looking 12 year old. I was around 5’8”, and could fit into the majority of my 6’1” moms clothes. I raided her closet and found everything that she owned in Yellow. It was 2013 around this time, so bright colors were somewhat in style, at least for my mom.

I had yellow pants, shoes, shirt, and even a scarf. I was PSYCHED! In my head I thought everyone would be wearing yellow, but I would be cool because I would outdo everyone.

I got out of the car, and started walking into school. NO ONE was wearing yellow. I didn’t get the memo, but apparently the cool thing to do was to ignore the theme and just wear whatever you want. Everyone was looking at me.

At lunchtime, I was so embarrassed and didn’t want to be seen by anyone new. I went to the music room and played the piano.

I started to hear some talking outside of the door. I moved away from the piano and sat on a chair a little ways away from the piano. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was in there, let alone that I was bright yellow.

The door swung open, and this boy and girl from my grade walked in. I knew them from my PE class, but they were pretty loud and rude so I avoided them. When they came into the room they immediately started laughing at me. The girl started talking about how I looked like a lemon, then the boy chimed in with a clever line and said since I was so tall, I look more like a banana! Great.

Just when I thought that comparing me to fruits was as bad as it could get, the boy walked over and reached for my bra strap poking out of my shirt. He grabbed it and pulled it from my shoulder to pinged it against my skin. He asked what kind of bra it was, and I just remained silent. How violating!

I think my lack of reaction must have drove them away, because I don’t remember anything else after that.

Everything is embarrassing

The reason why I share this isn’t to trauma dump The Great Yellow Day Disaster of 2013. I can laugh about it now! But to be honest, I thought it was the most embarrassing moment of my life. Looking back though, who is to blame a girl for being on theme!! To this day, I LOVE a theme and really try to go all out.

I still have experiences where I do the most, or am passionate about something and end up being embarrassed for going all out.

Recently I have learned that literally everything is embarrassing, so why not?

I definitely do a lot of embarrassing things. Maybe I just have embarrassing passions, I don’t know. For example, I am studying social media marketing and want to prove I know what I am doing by posting more. I have been so nervous about doing that though because I know I am going to get judged.

Like literally who cares?

Now that I am a lot older, those kids were genuinely just mean and probably trying to fit in in their own way. I don’t think we ever even spoke again, and I’m sure they don’t even remember it.

My point is, if there is something you want to do but are too embarrassed to do it, just remember that everything is embarrassing. Worst thing that happens is you are going to get judged and people will talk about you. One, they are not your friends, and two, its going to be embarrassing until it isn’t. There will be a turning point where you get good at this embarrassing thing, and no one will be laughing then!

I have been thinking about what the worst thing that could happen would be. Usually, its just that I will get judged. Nothing seriously bad will happen. Even on yellow day, the worst thing that happened was that I got judged. And guess what, those kids never spoke to me again. Totally fine with me!

Anyways, thanks for tuning in<3 I hope you do something embarrassing and live to tell the tale!

Where it began

Hi! I’m Lys, and I am so happy you are here!

I wanted my first blog post to be a brief introduction about me and what I am aspiring to do here. Lets start with the history.

When I was about 6 years old, my family made a big move from Maryland to England. It was 2007, and blogging was really getting big. My mom had just moved across the world, completely away from her family, and felt that blogging would be the best way to keep a digital journal and update the masses on our little life in England.

It was a completely private blog, but it is still my favorite. She ended up printing 7 books which will always be something I look forward to showing anyone I bring home. I can’t wait for the day my kids will be able to look through the books and come to know my mom through her written work.

She wrote about her triumphs as a mother, her downfalls, insecurities, and everything in between. Now that I am an adult, her posts are so comforting and help me know that she hasn’t always known everything, and found joy along the way.

As I have been writing this piece, I have gone back through my moms old posts and am reminded just how creative and funny she is. Pictured above is me, found in one of her earliest posts. I thought it would be perfect for my first post! I am truly so inspired by my mom, but it definitely took growing up to recognize it.

In an age of low attention spans, constant scrolling on TikTok, and Chat GPT, I crave a peaceful source of entertainment and genuine connections. My favorite platforms that I gravitate towards are Youtube and Pinterest. I think long form entertainment is making a comeback. With that being said, I am really trying to step into the blogging realm. I rarely find myself truly connecting and getting to know a stranger in the 1 minute video I see on TikTok. At the root of it, I just crave connection. Maybe my brain is finally developing, or maybe it’s the direction world is going. Whatever it is, I would like to be a part of it.

I am currently studying Marketing, and I plan to graduate with my Associates in December. I was planning on going down the social media marketing route, that was until I had an existential crisis.

My sweet husband, Ryan, has a passion for coding. When we met, I understood he was a Computer Engineer but it wasn’t until we were married that I realized his love for it. Coding is his top pick of activities to do in his free time and he channels his creativity in creating something new. When he was younger, he would sit on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket, watching his dad code. He created a fake computer out of paper and pretended he was coding along with him. Ever since then, he has wanted to become an engineer.

I came to the realization that I don’t know what my passion is, or my life’s calling if you will. I was thinking about everything I could do with my degree and where it could take me. To be so honest, it scared me. There wasn’t anything that truly clicked. I took inspiration from my husband and I thought back to what I liked to do when I was a kid.

I remembered watching my mom write, and reading it the next day. I begged to have my own blog when I was about 8 years old, and so the “Little Popstar” was born. That was was the name of my blog - don’t ask me why. I loved it so much, and even though no one ever did or ever will read it, I had a passion, and it was mine. Here is one of my earliest written works. I believe I had just turned 6 years old when I wrote it.

Hopefully you can recognize how far I have come in my writing abilities.

For some reason I lost that spark, or that fire that I had for writing. Only this past year have I been toying with the idea of it. For a while I was waiting for my husband to create a custom website for me, but he got too busy with work and personal projects. I decided not to wait until things were perfectly ironed out, and to just go for it. I saw something today that said “Just make it exist first. You can make it good later.”

So here I am!

I’m Lys! And once again, I am so glad you’re here. Especially if you read to this point! I am a 23 year old living in Idaho for school, and I am still figuring out what I am doing with my life. Here are a few things about me.

I have recently taken up sewing! I am really hoping to improve my skills this year. For some reason I started with a quilt. My Grandma is an incredibly talented seamstress so I have convinced myself it is in my DNA. It’s not really playing out that way so far… but Grandma if you’re reading this, call me!

I made a new years resolution to make more friends and host monthly get togethers! So far, it is going well. I am excited to share more about some of my plans!

I have been modeling the past year. I don’t think I would call myself a model by any means. To be honest, I don’t know how long I want to do it. I have LOVED the people I have met doing it, but I’m not sure it’s my thing. Just another thing I have been figuring out.

So ya, there’s some of the random little things that only the real ones who read to the end get to know about me.

I am so excited to see where this takes me, and I look forward to doing it with you! I hope this brings the connection I want it to and to be a comfortable place for all <3